


Five Failed Schemes for Universal Domination (drabbles)

by x_los



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio), Doctor Who 1963
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-19
Updated: 2009-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_los/pseuds/x_los
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://ushas42.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://ushas42.livejournal.com/"></a><b>ushas42</b> asked for my "top five 'take over everything' Master!plots that we never saw because the Doctor foiled them off screen, someone else foiled them, or they just fell apart on their own. In chronological order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Failed Schemes for Universal Domination (drabbles)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ushas42](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ushas42).



Title: Five Failed Schemes for Universal Domination (drabbles)  
Rating: PG (Gen! I wrote _gen!_ )  
Author: [](http://x-los.livejournal.com/profile)[**x_los**](http://x-los.livejournal.com/)  
Pairing/Characters: Koschei, Brax, Delgado!Master, Six, Ainley!Master, Eight, Cheetah!Master, Jacobi!Master  
Summary: [](http://ushas42.livejournal.com/profile)[**ushas42**](http://ushas42.livejournal.com/) asked for my "top five 'take over everything' Master!plots that we never saw because the Doctor foiled them off screen, someone else foiled them, or they just fell apart on their own. In chronological order.

 

 **Senatorial Page**  
Koschei and Brax  
(Think Ancient Rome, Not Harry Potter)

 

The newly elected Under-Chancellor cornered his Patronus in the hall.

“Four hours.”

“Hm?”

“I had to listen to Goth talk about ceremonial objects the Sash does and does not clash with for _four hours._ ”

His Patronus smirked. “I’m hardly surprised the Chancellor thinks he’s a sartorial luminary. The work of government on Gallifrey largely consists of trivialities. And wearing neckerhats.”

“But when do I get to be _President_?”

“Never,” Braxiatel said with infinite repressed bitterness.

“Sod this,” Koschei decided, “I’ll con some lower species into letting me have _real_ power. And a fancier title!”

 

 

 **Tic Tac Toe**  
Delgado!Master

 

Soon after he was elected President of the Tussini Empire, he ruined its impeccable reputation by annexing the weaker systems nearby. Resistance petered out in the new territories when their economies fared better under his control. Domestic opposition was dealt with discreetly. His hypnotic weekly addresses made the citizens feel safe. His projected lifespan encompassed millennia. He could afford to amass still greater power slowly.

When he discovered the Doctor had been exiled and confined to planetary arrest—which explained why he hadn’t dropped in to try and upset the Master’s arrangements—he abandoned his bleak, solitary triumph with a strange relief.

 

 

 **If you’re wondering whether the Master’s Stefano, _yes._**  
Ainley!Master and Six

 

“I can’t ‘leave these poor people alone’ until my contract expires,” the Master pointed out. “I’m _very_ popular. They’ve brought my character back from certain death twice already. Have you been watching _Days in the Lives of All My Children?_ , Doctor?”

“Why else would I come to Essex 16? Something terrible is happening here! More than just your pantomime acting.”

The Master scoffed. “You fail to appreciate the medium. During my confinement at Stangmore, I grew fond of Elsie Tanner of Coronation Street—”

While the Doctor ruined his daytime telly hypnosis, the Master couldn’t consider his career a total loss.

 

 

 **Magical Doctor Mistoffelees**  
Cheetah!Master and Eight

 

“'It got rather out of hand,'” the Doctor repeated, deadpan. Standing in a mass of Cheetah people and kitlings gnawing on the Daily Mail theater critic in a ruined West End theater, he felt they were a bit beyond that.

“They were _too_ ‘Maddened by the Midnight Dance.’” The Master, sporting yellow eyes and the tattered remains of a Macavity costume, only just had the decency to look embarrassed. “The psychic energy emitted by a delighted audience could have pulled my Cheetahs free of that dying world. I might’ve amassed an _army_ —”

“This,” the Doctor said, “is your _worst_ idea.”

 

 

 **‘Failure to Achieve his Objectives’ism**  
Eight, Jacobi!Master

 

The Doctor was impressed the Master had ended the Time War in weeks. You could tell by the jibering.

“Yes, forcing my modified Libertarian Dalek to leaflet Skaro _was_ genius, thank you, Doctor. Now, to take control of the Daleks for myself!”

“It’s never going to work,” the Doctor tried to warn him as a black Dalek rolled towards them, tailed by a standard silver model.

“MASTER.”

“Yes?”

“WE MUST FOLLOW CHOMSKY, BUT DALEK COMMANDER 08 CONTENDS AYN RAND HAS MERIT. ARBITRATE!”

The Master began to look worried. “I—”

The silver poked him with a plunger. “VALIDATE RON PAUL! VALIDATE!”  



End file.
